7 Kitchen Tasks and Recipes I Hate!

This may come as a surprise to you, but there are days I want to rip my hair out in the kitchen.  I absolutely love what I do, but there are a few things that I hate.  Some are certain recipes I have to cook at work, and others are prepping tasks that make me want to blow my brains out.  Here is a short list of examples:

1. ANYTHING regarding chocolate.  Anyone that knows me, knows I hate it.  The nasty smell of it, the feeling of it when it melts on my fingers, the gross way it leaves a chocolaty trail in my mouth when I attempt to eat it.  It's disgusting.  Even thinking about it gives me the chills.  In a bad way.  This is #1 on the list for a reason.  I hate touching it, chopping it, smelling it.  Yuck.
2. Cleaning spinach.  My clients have me make creamed spinach at least once a week.  They buy 4 giant bunches that are more often than not coated in dirt and mud.  I have to soak them in the sink at least twice to get rid of the grit.  Then, most tedious of all, I have to remove the stems from the leaves, one at a time.  It takes like 30 minutes.  There is no sense in buying the fresh spinach.  First of all, it's expensive.  Secondly, frozen spinach is exactly the same thing.  It would save me time and them money, but for some reason they opt for the fresh stuff.  I get paid, so I can't complain I suppose.
3. Touching chicken.  Even at home, I always use gloves.  The skin, the fat, the flesh ... it is so nasty.  And I clean everything with bleach afterward that the chicken could have possibly breathed its salmonella on.  As a side note, I will say that I got a 97% on my chicken fabrication final in culinary school.  But, ew.  Raw poultry is for the birds.  
4. Prepping shallots.  Random, I know.  But they are a pain in the ass.  The skin is super thin and sometimes impossible to peel off.  Then you get shallot twinsies that have the space in between them that is coated in black mold that is super nasty.  It gets on your fingers, it stinks .... Ugh.  I hate those things.  
5. Cooking rice on the stove.  This is my Achilles heal.  For some reason, I always screw it up.  It ends up an over cooked, starchy mess and scorched to the bottom of the pan every time!  I have a rice cooker now, which is the secret to my rice cooking success.  Well worth the investment.
6. Noodle Kugel.  That makes me dry heave just thinking about it.  It's supposedly Jewish comfort food, but that is highly debatable.  It's egg noodles, baked in a dish with this nasty custard laced with raisins and cinnamon.  Imagine creme brulee with pasta.  I take so much pride in what I do, but I made this the other day and I gagged as I was plating it.  It's so awful.  I can't even taste-test it, and I feel badly serving it.  But my family loves that stuff.  Go figure.
7. Martha Stewart's Oven Baked Sweet Potato Fries.  I saved this for last because these things are the bane of my existence.  I must have made this recipe 50 times, but 25 of those times were fixing the recipe so it worked.  The "fries" would come out mushy every time, or they would stick to the pan.  One has to first pre-cook them in the microwave, then plop them onto a cookie sheet so the excess moisture can steam away.  Then you whip egg whites with brown sugar.  Coat the "fries" in the mixture then bake them off at a very high temperature.  They'd come out masked in a cloak of scrambled egg whites.  And mushy.  Way to go, Martha.  Recipes are a suggested guideline, people.  They do not always work and you have to use common sense and instinct to fix them.  

Don't get me wrong.  I love what I do.  I love the people I cook for, and I usually wake up in a great mood knowing that I am blessed to be able to earn money at what I am passionate about.  But there are days I want to cringe.  

Tomato Sauce 101

There are 3 things I do not mind buying in a can:

1. Chipotle peppers in adobe (smoked jalapeno peppers in a lovely tomato sauce) -- they are a great addition to marinades, baked beans, chili, taco meat ... you name it!
2. Beans -- I never cook beans from scratch.  The canned versions save me so much time and they taste perfect.  Just give them a good, healthy rinse with cold water and proceed.
3. TOMATOES! -- most especially the Italian variety (they just taste better!).  Even in California, with our year round growing season, the time of year when tomatoes are at their peak is limited.  And the ones you buy at your random supermarket most likely were picked before they were ripe in some far-off land, so they are mostly water and zero flavor.  The canned ones are optimal, especially for soups and sauces!

Beth's Super Easy, Homemade Tomato Sauce

Chef's note:  You can easily double or triple this recipe.  It takes just as much time and energy to cook 2 quarts as it does a gallon.  Just put it in pint-size containers and store it in the freezer for when you need it.  Making tomato sauce from scratch is much easier than one would think.  It not only tastes better, but it is much better for you than the processed stuff in a jar.

2-28oz cans canned tomatoes (preferably Italian, whole; crushed by hand)

1/3 cup extra virgin olive oil

8-10 garlic cloves, smashed with skins removed

1/2 teaspoon dried chili flakes (plus more to taste, at the end)

A big handful of basil

1" square of Parmesan cheese rind, or just a chunk of Parmesan cheese

1 teaspoon of sugar, or to taste

Salt & pepper, to taste

Heat oil over medium heat in a pot that will fit the tomatoes.  Add the garlic cloves and fry them until they are golden brown.  The best way to achieve this is to tip the pan so the cloves are essentially deep-frying.  Once they are starting to brown, use a spoon to pull them out and discard them (or you can leave a few -- it's a matter of taste!).  What you are doing is making sure that the garlicky flavor gets infused with the oil.  

Sprinkle in the chili flakes and cook for about 30 seconds.  Don't let them burn or the sauce will be bitter!  

Very carefully, slide the tomatoes into the oil.  It will spatter, so use caution.  Stir well, and bring to a simmer.  Add the basil and Parmesan bits, and stir to incorporate.  Reduce heat to low, and stir frequently.  Do not allow the bottom to burn!  Continue cooking until the sauce is nice and thick, about 30 minutes or so.  It should coat the back of a spoon.  

Once it is nice and thick, you can either leave it chunky or you can use an immersion blender to puree it a little bit.  (Or carefully pulse in a food processor).  Just be sure to remove the chunk of parmesan.

Season to taste with a little sugar, salt & pepper, and even additional chili flakes if desired.  

Makes 2 quarts.